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REALGSA
10:13 Fri Oct 14
Re: The Swedish joy = IKEA
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Once you get it, its so hard to get out. Try and find the exit.
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Dr Congo
10:09 Fri Oct 14
Re: The Swedish joy = IKEA
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"Just switch off enough to know that every step you make means you're closer to the exit. "
Unfortunately not true, the routes around the stores are designed to make you walk past everything. Half the time you are desperate for the exit but walking 180 degrees away from it.
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Chip Shop Charlie
10:08 Fri Oct 14
Re: The Swedish joy = IKEA
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Shortcuts are your friends
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Infidel
10:06 Fri Oct 14
Re: The Swedish joy = IKEA
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Avoid buying any piece of furniture that you have to assemble yourself.
Hope that helps.
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monto
9:54 Fri Oct 14
Re: The Swedish joy = IKEA
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Had the misfortune of having to pay a visit to the Warrington branch, about a month back.
Expect the worst. Just switch off enough to know that every step you make means you're closer to the exit. Just say "yes" randomly, because if your missus is anything like mine, she won't shut up, but will think you're paying an enough of an interest.
Have a word with yourself if you really think a pile meatballs sloshing around on a plate of flood water is an attractive proposition. It'll only prolong the agony.
If you're that hungry focus on th 60p hotdog at the of your trip, it'll be all you can afford once you've stumped up at the checkout.
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Bungo
8:43 Fri Oct 14
Re: The Swedish joy = IKEA
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If you must go and you intend to buy stuff, my advice is:-
Get there early.
Treat it like a commando raid, I.e. know what you are going there for, where it is in the warehouse bit, don't dawdle wasting time looking at junk you didn't go there for, grab the stuff you intend to buy and get to the checkouts before the slow browser types clog them up.
Buy stuff, put it in your car, then go to the restaurant last.
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Vexed
8:33 Fri Oct 14
Re: The Swedish joy = IKEA
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My advice is kill yourself, it's got to be better than being you. Dullard.
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lowermarshhammer
8:31 Fri Oct 14
Re: The Swedish joy = IKEA
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By all means go, but do yourself a favour, stay in the car.
An utter cunt if an experience is an IKEA trip.
Food is cheap and cheerful, that's about all I can say for that.
Walk round for fucking ages looking at shit that you don't want or need.
Feel empathic sorrow for all the other blokes being dragged round by their wives.
Feel like punching the lights out of the fools who actually seem to be enjoying Swedish consumer hell.
Go to the warehouse section at the end and discover that the one item you actually wanted is not in stock.
Find out that the stuff you bought doesn't fit in your car.
FUCK OFF IKEA
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